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As the mother of an Asperger child

I want to talk around the edges of the events at Readercon. I've never attended; I've only -- until now -- heard good to great things about it.

But in the wake of the events that occurred there, I've seen a few comments that crop up from time to time - always as an excuse or a defense of harassment: It's Aspie behaviour. He probably doesn't know any better.


This is, imho, garbage.

This is, imho, garbage.Collapse )


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jul. 31st, 2012 04:39 am (UTC)
So very well said! It has been annoying the heck out of me whenever I have seen this defense... not just here but on Skepchick's harasser as well, but I just haven't been able to articulate it well.
Jul. 31st, 2012 08:51 am (UTC)
Thank you for this post - I have been looking for things to say when people use this defense but I don't have enough experience or as good phrasing. It infuriates me that some people try to turn 'stalker' into 'aspie'.
Jul. 31st, 2012 09:17 am (UTC)
I know a lot of people with Asperger's through conventions, and never had a problem with any of them. I have, however, had a problem elsewhere with entitled assholes, of both sexes. Not aware that 'asshole' is a recognised medical disorder....
Jul. 31st, 2012 09:18 am (UTC)
Sorry - this is Liz W. Thought I was logged in.
Aug. 1st, 2012 03:12 pm (UTC)
Wild, wild applause from over here.

It is incredibly rude to people on the autism spectrum to diagnose anybody and everybody with poor social skills as Asperger. It devalues the hard work that Asperger people put into learning social skills, *and* it lets other people off the hook for deliberate bad behavior.
Aug. 6th, 2012 01:19 pm (UTC)
Yes and yes -- thank you for posting this!!
Aug. 7th, 2012 01:29 pm (UTC)
Hello. I was posting yesterday about some reading I was doing about adults with autism, and drenilop suggested I add you, saying your blog was a thoughtful read.

About me let's see...I work at a college, have a 14 month old son, and don't get enough sleep. LOL Okay, so it will be a lot more interesting when I start getting enough sleep.

(waves hello)
Aug. 10th, 2012 03:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you for saying this. I'm also a mother of an ASD child, and if anything, she is more careful of other's feelings than her friends, and would never ignore a direct response of a kind Ms.Valentine made.

I got here from a link in comments to Rose Lemberg's post and have friended your journal. About me: I'm a programmer, also a fan, also a creator of metafandom_ru community. My main journal is in Russian, but there is a secondary one ultima_hule where I post from time to time in English.
Jan. 8th, 2013 02:28 pm (UTC)
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Feb. 13th, 2013 12:09 pm (UTC)
I have as and I'm 18. This has totally wrecked my social life to the point I don't want to talk to anyone anymore. Where um so scared that i might do soketging wrong. It makes me really depressed. I don't know any social rules only some. My family isn't supportive at all. I suck with girls. I've had only one gf and it ended horribly. I need help and can't afford a consular. Please suggest a book for social rules so I can have a better life thank you!
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Jun. 30th, 2013 04:22 am (UTC)
I'm here via Jim Hines' blog. Thank you so much for posting this. :) This is very well put and needed to be said. I know some lovely people with Asperger's and they would never behave in such a shameful manner like Mr Walling did towards Ms. Valentine.
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